I got a lot of great responses after I posted “A story to think about as a leader”, therefore I decided to
start a series with this topic and collect inspiring stories that we as leaders can learn from. If you want to help me, just leave your story/the story you like as a comment.
Here is another story on how to look at the world that a dear coaching friend wrote in April as a response of the story “If I had my child to raise over again” of Chicken Soup for the Soul:
“If I had my child to raise over again” made me feel sad and regretful. How
many mistakes I made! What a cruel, distressed, overworked, insensible,
egoistic mum I was! Fortunately Kati Hankovszky reminded me that I cannot change the
past.
So I looked back what happened when I raised my child as a single working
mum, absent non-paying dad, grandparents far away … all the stuff which
could build a tragedy, and does not have to. Here’s what I found:
Moments of laughter
Moments of understanding
Moments of solace
Moments of sharing
Moments of learning
Moments of discovery
Moments of pride
Moments of knowing
Moments of trust
Moments of love
Moments of thankfulness
Moments of happiness
Moments, moments, moments
The more I looked, the more I found
There might have been more. So what!
Those are THE moments.
Miracles”
You decide how you want to see the world – through problem-focused or resourceful and appreciative eyes – but consider, however you decide, it makes a difference! Not only for you but also for your family, your employees and all the other people around you.
“How did I grow up after the war”?
Years ago I used to think: how terrible, how sad, how difficult.
Father shot in the war. Mother killed when the Russians occupied the country.
Nobody left in the family. Just my 70 year old grandmother and myself.
What a tragedy.
Then with positive solution focused thinking, concentrating on resources, that I have found on the way, I asked myself “How did you do that”?
I found not one but various fathers, each of them for a special porpose – going to the mountains; enjoing literature and theater; being a wise guy just by looking at whats happening. One for each of these and other topics
Slowly realising the unconditional love of a grandmother without any educational aspirations.
Also I met mothers who took me in as a son with kindnes and understanding.
And the priviledge of growing up all by myself. Walking along the road, falling into a hole, climbing out and walking to the next hole. Every hole a learning experience.
Miracles? No! Just the way how we look at events and how we decide to see the world, our life, our occupation.
Looking back in this manner gives us, gives me – trust, hope and love.
Dear Ernst, thank you very much for your inspiring and encouraging story!
Thanks for the post Ernst. The human brain is conditioned to think about what is wrong- problems are always easy to see, think about and get bogged down in. The more we focus on the problems the more we seem to uncover. It’s like using a different muscle in the brain to think in terms of what is going well or to take a problem and translate it into a what could and should be possibility. Your two stories illustrate this point nicely. The Appreciate Inquiry Commons is a great place to find more inspiration at http://appreciativeinquiry.case.edu/
Jamie Resker
http://www.employeeperformancesolutions.com/
Hi Dominik,
Saw your post on LinkedIn with your reference to deciding how you want to see the world. I applaud your insight on “choice”. It is a decision whether to see mostly problems and what’s wrong versus what is possible given the landscape you see in front of you.
I do much work on personlity types and teaching people to see things from other’s perspectives. You might like the post I have on “Leaders – Are You Wearing Corrective Lenses.” On my website blogroll. http://katenasser.com/articles
Thanks for reminding us most especially how it affects parenting and the future of our own.
Bravo,
Kate Nasser
Thank you Kate for your comment and for mentioning your articles – Sometimes we all need corrective lenses to focus on what is possible, solutions, skills, etc. And I think it’s our job as coach to offer these lenses to our customers. Great metaphor!